In which I have a severe panic attack on an airplane...

I know it seems like a LOT of people say they suffer from an anxiety disorder of some kind. (Fun fact: it's not all THAT uncommon.) If you have it, anxiety can be a horribly crippling mental illness that seriously affects your everyday life. Unluckily, I suffer with anxiety to varying degrees. Luckily, it's usually not too bad. I spent two years on medication though and through that and assorted other things (yoga, changing my diet, meditation, etc.*) it pretty much stays in check. Sometimes though... Sometimes it really sucks. Today was one of those days.

I have felt so many feelings today.

My mother and I just checked into a hotel after spending eleven hours at the airport. Right now, the main thing I'm feeling is tired, but I've felt a lot of different things today.

Frustration, because the nice lady mopping the floor probably doesn't know anything more about your delayed and/or cancelled flight than you do, asshole. Now let her clean up the mess your kid made in peace.

Disgust, because, sir, you just dropped that on the floor... and you're really going to eat it?

Giddiness... Skittles for dinner? Skittles for dinner? SKITTLES FOR DINNER!*

Astonishment at how few toddler meltdowns I saw. (It was zero. These kids were amazing.)

Serenity, because when you realize you're going to be in an airport for a while and all you can do is read and look at the internet, it's kind of relaxing in a weird way.

Curiosity, because, ma'am, why are you wearing blue camouflage overalls? And why are they rolled up to your knees? And where are your shoes?

Fellowship, because there is nothing quite like the camaraderie felt by a group of people stuck in an unpleasant but not unbearable situation for hours on end.

Relief, because I'm not in that airport anymore.


Anyhow, this has been a little glimpse into the roller coaster ride that has been my day. And by "roller coaster ride," I mean "moving from chair-to-chair in an airport cafeteria". Tune in next time (hopefully) for "Steph and Mom return to Iowa easily and quickly, with no flight complications and a very smooth airplane ride." It should be a doozy.

*I do realize, of course, that as a fully-grown human capable of independent thought and also feeding myself, I could have Skittles for dinner every night, but there's something magical about when it's your only option. (I am being dramatic.)

P.S. I just watched a video of a small turtle eating a raspberry and it was the highlight of my day, so, there's that.